Annoyed
Have you ever been mad at someone, let's say.. spouse, significant other, someone else close to you, and they don't know it? And the fact that they don't realize it just pisses you off even more?
I was that way this morning with my husband, and I'm still debating whether or not to be mad. The reason is not really important, it's the fact that he didn't even figure out the body language, the signals. This is when my rational and sane part of my brain usually kick in and tell me to get a grip. "How is he supposed to know if you don't tell him?" The unrational and insane portion of my brain is now beating this party pooper to a pulp. "Shut up." "I don't want to be rational or make sense right now." "I want to be mad." "I want to be angry and hurt." "I want to be confused and unsettled....while no one notices"...clearly this makes sense.
I spent about 20 minutes being annoyed, hurt, upset, disappointed and just plain pissed. Then I got up and did my Pilates work out. That seemed to take some of the wind out of my sails, but I still wish he would have noticed me. Of course, my best body language that would have really gotten his attention was taking place after he already left for work! Yes, I wish you would notice me even though you aren't here. Again, to me this makes sense.
Why does the human mind play these games? Maybe I just did not want to make him mad. Maybe I just didn't want to hurt his feelings. Maybe I'm just stubborn...well, I'm definitely stubborn. Maybe I just have to get over it. I hate that.
posted by Chris @ 6:34 AM
15 comments
15 Comments:
from a guy's perspective, let me offer this: first, we can't read minds. second, we can read body language, but we tend to ignore it because if a mood is unspoken, we tend to think that it can't be that bad, so if we ignore it, it will just go away.
:)
You're right. My husband has told me that before. He also likes to say: "Well, I figured if you wanted to talk about it you would." Yeah right.
Thanks for the comment.
Guys have no clue when girls are mad. They are completely oblivious. And then when they do figure out we're mad they can't seen to figure out why we could possibly be mad. They're impossible!
Veeba,
I feel ya girl. I don't get it either. I'm training my husband pretty good tho. He's figuring me out...it helps that I've known him for 7 years too.
What's wrong with being honest? "I'm upset because ..." We can't read minds. If we did we wouldn't probably like what we hear. What kills me is that women know this and we know stuff about us that drives women nuts.
But that's what's beautiful about men and women. We need each other to balance.
It's easier to just learn to communicate.
~Jef
Jef-you're right. Thank goodness most of the time my husband and I communicate perfectly. I was married once to someone who refused to talk about anything that bothered him. When we broke up he said he was trying to deal with "our problems" for the past 2 years. At which point I had no choice but to ask.."what problems?"
Also his name was also Chris. Do not marry someone with the same name as you. It doesn't work.
HI-C
The age old Yin v/s Yang thing :) As long as it all works out in the end, its good .. and Chris, looks like ur marriage is working fine ! So its cool
PS: There is an advantage of letting ur partner know u r mad. You might get a gift or a dinner or a rose or at the very least some pampering :) Atleast I do some/all of that whenever my g/f is mad at me :)
Thanks funny/geek: I'll try that next time. Maybe I'll get something out of it.
veeba
i like your blog. i especially enjoyed the most recent entry.
Okay here's the thing. I get what the boys say about not being able to "read minds" - but hello, can you read the angst that is my body language? Can you not see the expression on my face? Am I smiling or frowning? Do I have my arms folded or carelessly hanging free? Am I walking normally around the house, or is there a distinct, more stomp-like feature to my footing?
You see it. I know you do. You're just chicken shit to say, "What?"
Good post Chris - I'm with ya.
DANG!
Leash....as always...you rock.
I love how you get me...ahhh
my husband is actually pretty dang good about reading my body language, but i tend to OVERLY dramatize it, if you know what i mean. i'll give him my "drop dead" stare and keep letting out really loud moans and groans...and if he tries to kiss me, i'll fling my head to the side and put my hand up like "BACK OFF BEE-OTCH....there's like NO WAY he can just pretend not to notice my signals. and if he is watching TV, i'll stand right in front of it and look at him like he's a piece of crap...that usually does the trick. man i am such a skank sometimes.
Read this
Mojoala,
I agree with the part about women. I'm not sure about the part about men. I think they forgive and forget....literally forget. My husband doesn't remember anything.
I know totally what you mean...and as Owen said, I try to remember that other people cannot read my mind. Besides men only have one thing on their minds, lol.
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