Public Bathrooms-A Pet Peeve

Okay...women are disgusting, at least in public bathrooms. Men, I can't speak for you, although whenever I ask my husband what the restroom was like when we go out, nine times out ten he says "It wasn't that bad." I'm convinced that's because he only has to sidle up to a urinal, whip it out (without ever touching anything or removing clothes) and then put it away. I guess the handle could be nasty though, but I digress.

One of my pet peeves is going into a public restroom and trying to find a clean stall. Forget it. I've resigned myself to think that it's not possible. Statistics show that 50% of both men and women do not wash their hands after using the bathroom and after seeing the state in which these women are leaving the stalls, that makes that statistic all the more frightening.

The other day I went to Costco with my husband and I had to use the bathroom. I went in and 3 of the stalls were occupied while the other 2 were heinously slewed with nasty, offensive, body secretions. I was forced to choose between a shit pile and a splatter. I went with the splatter, but let me talk about shit pile for a minute. Women, what the hell are you doing in there? Why did I walk in to that stall and see shit piled and smeared on the seat? Are you reaching back there with a bare hand, wiping your ass and then smearing the seat? Why would you do that? I told myself that maybe it was a child, but even so- mom's clean up after your kids or if they are unable to wipe their ass you must do it for them. Plus also, I've seen this so many times that I'm convinced it's not always children who are to blame.

The splatter is something I'm sure I'm not the only one to have seen. It's very common. The toilets are those big bowls that have those horseshoe shaped seats. Thus allowing for a very clear visual area of the back and sides of the bowl. Well, the back of this bowl looked liked the diarreah testing sight and it made me gag. Luckily I have perfected a move called ass-suspension. The name suggests exactly that...I suspend my ass about 3 or 4 inches above the bowl while peeing, never touching any of the revoltingness. I've perfected my moves enough to not even splash the seat, but on the rare occasion that I do, I carefully wipe it up with TP not touching anything else that didn't belong to me. Be careful you don't suspend too high or you might splash yourself, and who knows what has already been in that bowl. You might be asking how I do this if I have to crap. Well....I don't crap in public. The shit would have to be running for it's life to escape my body for me to actually sit all the way down on a seat. This unfortuante predicament has only happened to me once and I was pregnant with my daughter. Luckily, I was in a pretty clean bathroom at the time, although it wouldn't have mattered. You just never know what to expect when you're preggers.

Okay..so shit is one thing...what about the monthly shedding of uteran linings? Yes, women. You know who you are. Why do you think I want to see a used tampon/pad lying on the back of the bowl? Is that fun for you? Are you in there thinking up ways to make someone sick when they enter the stall after you? Don't you know that they put those cute little trash containers in each stall for a reason? Think about this, my daughter and many other daughters of the world have to go into these stalls too. I do not want my young, impressionable child to have to sit on the toilet with a used, smelly feminine product rotting in your wake. How vile is that? Every time my daughter uses a public bathroom I pray to God that she doesn't pick up some nasty disease.

The worst thing about this is that people really don't bother to wash their hands. Even if you don't normally wash your hands you should just because you've touched any part of the disgusting bathroom. I have seen women leave without washing, and it sickens me. Especially in a restaurant when I see a worker leave without washing. It makes me never eat in that place again.

When I wash my hands I try to get a paper towel and turn on the water first. Then I wash real well, and use another paper towel that I already have ready to dry my hands. I use that paper towel to turn off the water and open the door. If there are no paper towels I use a sleeve, if I have short sleeves I use the very tip of one finger and pray that I don't stick that finger in any crevice of my face before I can wash my hands again. I guess this sounds anal...but the germs and nasties floating around in those bathrooms make me want to vomit. I'd rather be careful then have someone's excrement accidentally enter my body by way of mouth. YUK!